Double A Experience

life have been filled with ups and downs lately
you might have noticed it if you had followed me on twitter
especially recently i have been using twitter as my punching bag
a platform to pour my heart out
i am in love
and i am in love
its like the world is beautiful again
and its all bouquets of roses
thats where you are wrong and it is no where near even a stalk of rose
i got myself trapped in this whirlpool of emotions
even when i know the end result is that i will get sucked into this feeling
and eventually die due to suffocation and not being able to escape
i insist in staying drowned and not safe myself
coz i know every second spend together is precious
i really wonder why i am putting myself through this
when the escape route is still within reach
may God show me the right thing to do soon 
before i crash and burn and never snap out of this fantasy

i am very picky when it comes to friendship
but i am very sensitive when it comes to the type of relationship i have in a friendship
no matter you're a work colleague or a friend with benefits
no matter in which one of my life you exist in
i will treat you like you are the last friend i have
i will try as hard as possible to gain the trust
and work my way up to an awesome friendship
my friends are literally my family and relatives
as in reality, it seemed as if i haven't had any relatives at all
so this is the beginning of my own little family tree
with many roots.

may you succeed in all your future endeavors
and till we meet again

i leave you with this chorus  lyrics in malay.
this is what i am trying my best to feel
but its hurting me to feel this way.

"Tiada lagi yang ku harapkanTiada lagi yang ku impikanBiar aku sendiri tanpa diri muTiada lagi kata cintamuTakkan lagi ku bersama muBiar ku simpan semuaKenangan ku bersamamu"

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