Next to Nothing

photo taken during 7th Rota Commander Course Senior Term Exercise

so what's next for me
nothing is really for sure at this moment
everyone seems to have direct plan ahead of them
and i am here pondering what's next for myself
there is this fear of stepping into reality
national service for me have be so surreal
ever since i began as a recruit and worked my way up
i have never regretted a step
and when it comes to an end
i feel like a part of me is dying
and suddenly i feel as if there is a flat grey area approaching me
a life filled with uncertainty
planned or unplanned
i still feel as if i haven't done enough to make the best out of my life
and everyone keep telling me
to pick myself up and move on
saying as if its easy
it took me quite some time to figure myself out
but truthfully, i am only slowly recovering now
living life at the moment and enjoying what life is offering me now
i am looking ahead 
but not too far as if we get to live forever
but not too close as if i'm going to die tomorrow
though sometimes i wonder what is really gonna happen.
for now, i'm just hoping for the best..

ps. you can view more of my photos on my instagram @aminayub

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