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Next to Nothing

photo taken during 7th Rota Commander Course Senior Term Exercise

so what’s next for me

nothing is really for sure at this moment

everyone seems to have direct plan ahead of them

and i am here pondering what’s next for myself

there is this fear of stepping into reality

national service for me have be so surreal

ever since i began as a recruit and worked my way up

i have never regretted a step

and when it comes to an end

i feel like a part of me is dying

and suddenly i feel as if there is a flat grey area approaching me

a life filled with uncertainty

planned or unplanned

i still feel as if i haven’t done enough to make the best out of my life

and everyone keep telling me

to pick myself up and move on

saying as if its easy

it took me quite some time to figure myself out

but truthfully, i am only slowly recovering now

living life at the moment and enjoying what life is offering me now

i am looking ahead 

but not too far as if we get to live forever

but not too close as if i’m going to die tomorrow

though sometimes i wonder what is really gonna happen.

for now, i’m just hoping for the best..

ps. you can view more of my photos on my instagram @aminayub

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